What Type of Woman Are You?

Just like how men are Ass-men, Breast-men, Legs-men, women fall into categories too. Some women don’t mind spending thousands of dollars on a purse. Then there are those that have a room filled with shoes. Others indulge in scented bath products. Please note not to take what you read here too seriously as its just another one of those ‘world according to me’ entries, just my take on women and our obsesssions be it shoes, bags, lotions or jewelery.

Through observation so far, I’ve noticed that women fall under at least one of the five categories or all. Let me introduce you to the Dorothies, Kellies, Tiffanies, Floras and Victorias…

A Dorothy is a woman who simply cannot get enough of shoes (I’m suspecting that most of us will feel like we fall into this category). I call them Dorothies from my memory of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz – the girl who could go to places when she clicks the tip of her sparkling ruby coloured Mary-Janes together – the magic a pair of shoes can do. How to tell if you are a Dorothy?

If you have so many shoes, you have to buy another closet to fit more of them in because your store room hasn’t got any space for them left.
If you wear some of them on rear occasions or not at all because you are afraid to get them wet in the rain or dirty them.
If you think your shoes have feelings and cannot bare to throw any of them away (hence you hoared them in the storeroom).
If your outfit depends on the shoe you are going to wear.

I love my shoes. But I only have a handful of them because I’m quite picky with the designs and cutting of the shoes that I can afford and unfortunately, we do not have a lot of those in Singapore (boring designs/ cheap looking material that hurt the feet). However, when I do spot a pair that will make my stomach do flips, I will try with every means to purchase it, love it and have a tendency to wear them only on occasions and walk with great care because I do not want to ruin my precious pair. My ultimate want is a pair of Louboutin. Any Louboutin. Those red soles and just to die for.

A Kelly is a woman who loves her bags like her own children. I call them Kellies because Hermes has a collection named after the legendary Princess Grace Kelly of Monaco and I think its just special to have such a coveted brand name a collection after you. How to tell if you’re a Kelly?

If you call your purse by its name (e.g “Its not a bag, its a Birkin”).
If you faint at the sight of a scratch on its leather.
If you save a seat at a restaurant for your purse.
If you shelter your purse before yourself on rainy days.

I admit that I most likely fall into this category compared to the rest. I have one too many ‘dream bags’ some of which are the Chanel Grande Shopper Tote, the Louis Vuitton Multicoloured Speedy 30 and a Hermes Birkin. Also, I tend to like to stand in the same cabin with women who carry nice bags so that I can admire it (ok, freaky, sorry). To the men, status is defined by the car he drives. To the women, its the bag she carries. To an extend, I believe the bag we carry shows the kind of person we are – the brand, the size, what we carry in it, etc. Yup, I like watching those ‘What’s in my bag’ videos on YouTube. In fact, I might make one soon enough.

A Tiffany is a woman who takes what she adorns herself with seriously. I call them Tiffanies because… duh, Tiffany & Co of course! That means, no cheap accessories from Diva mind you, only the finest for these women. How to tell if you’re a Tiffany?

If diamonds are your best friends.
You scourn or laugh at fake diamonds.
If you actually display the certificates in frame.
If you store your precious jewels in the individual boxes they come in.
If you frequently take them out of those boxes to look at them because it makes you smile.

Believe it or not, I have known women who fall under this category. But in their defence, these women work in the diamond industry or they can never wear the F21 fashion earrings that we take advantage of because of their sensitive skin. They are accustomed to diamonds, south sea pearls and/or white gold and are willing to spend their hard earned money on these tiny rocks and pieces. They tend to save more on the bags and shoes though, unless they are rich tai-tais.

But I must admit, these women have immaculate taste and I am lucky to have learned the trick of telling a real/good diamond from a shitty quality one, how to match different designs and trying on the beautiful and extremely expensive pieces from my time spent working with Tiara Creations for almost a year. I did pick up some of those qualities and love fine jewellery but unfortunately, my pay check doesn’t qualify me to be very Tiffany.

A Flora is a woman who lives in her boudoir. I call them Floras because fragance reminds me of flowers hence the name Flora. These women are associated with scented candles, perfumes and bath products. How to tell if you’re a Flora?

If you can spend hours in the shower/bathtub.
If you cannot live a day without scented candles.
If you have so many perfumed soaps stocked up because you’re afraid they will run out of stock.
If you have an insane collection of perfumes displayed all over your vanity/shelves.

Some of these women do not mind spending $70+ on a bar of soap. Personally, I cannot be a Flora. Simply because I’d rather spend that money on a dress, I can survive on my Dove shower cream and if I do need my fix of scented showers, I’ll make do with Lush bath products. No doubt I absolutely adore the packing and scent of products from Crab Tree and Evelyn but I just cannot bring myself to part with my money on them.

But I do have a love for perfumes – the scent, bottle designs and history behind them – however I do not own a truckload of them, just a few that are very dear to me – Chanel No. 5, Guerlain Shalimar and J’adore Dior. And of course, every Singaporean girl’s least expensive fix – Victoria Secrets’ Body Splashes.

Floras tend to enjoy spa treats (always on my must-do list when on vacation because it’s as good as daylight robbery here in Singapore) so you’ll know what to get them for their birthday *cough spa vouchers *cough.

The Victorias are women who would splurge on quality lingerie. I call them Victorias because lingerie remind me of Victoria’s Secret (and Agent Provocatuer, Chantelle, La Perla and the likes but lets stick to the more familiar name ok?). How to tell if you’re a Victoria?

If you only wear matching bra and panties.
If you refuse to put them in the washer, only hand washing is allowed.
If you have them in sets – lingerie, hoisery, corsets, night wear, even pasties (hmm, naughty…)
If you hang them on hangers along with your clothes in your closet.

In this day and era, there really isn’t any excuse for the modern women to be wearing cheap grandma undies. Now you can choose from g-strings, to lace and in a variety of colours. Even stores like Cotton On and La Senza are selling undergarments at a very affordable price.

But of course, Victorias are a breed who wouldn’t mind splurging on luxury lingerie. I once knew a lady who would spend her money on only 2 things – LV pochettes and lingerie. She has on the same ol’ boring black t-shirt and pants combo everyday but different limited edition pochettes and really pretty lace bras (whenever the straps peek out from under her boring t-shirt, we see it, I bet she does it on purpose since she spends so much on them, she wouldn’t mind showing it off a little).

Having on a sexy pair really makes you feel more confident even though no one knows what you’re wearing underneath except yourself. My absolute favourites have to be from Agent Provocateur and I would love to prance around the room in a silky slip-on, have my morning coffee or read a book in bed in a kimono/negligee. But due to my impatience for the shipment to arrive, the (once again I repeat) small pay check and my intermediate skills with the washing machine, I guess I can only be a Victoria at heart.

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