No points for guessing my favourite TV series of all time as I’ve mentioned and referenced it so much throughout the years on this blog – Sex and the City. Back in my 20s, when it was finally made available to me through Torrent (oops), I watched every series religiously and took many of their antics and words as the Bible. I realise now that some of the context were toxic but as a naïve young 20 year old from an Asian upbringing, this is where I learned how to navigate around the complicated world of sex, love and womanhood.

I dare say that Sex and the City played a big part of shaping me into the woman I am today and that it is, and will always be, a cult classic. Although it’s been over 20 years since it first aired, some of the scenes following the lives of Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha still resonate with me today. Here is a compilation of some of my life lessons from Sex and the City.

Curate your wardrobe.

Carrie was a toxic one but boy, can she dress. The biggest takeaway I got from her was how well she knew the pieces from her wardrobe, like they were all her dear friends. She greeted them like people, could tell you their designers, which year and collection they were from and even when she wore them. She knew a vintage Manolo Blahniks Mary Janes when she saw one and wore her outfits out in ridiculous combinations some times and didn’t care. Carrie was part of where I got my fashion education from. She inspired me to get to know my clothes, treasure them and make memories in them.

Own your age.

Samantha was the older one out of the 4 ladies but she is arguably the most confident and fabulous! Samantha made me realise that aging is not as scary as I thought it would be. She taught me that I can still be fabulous in my 50s (and beyond), wear whatever I want and made me realise that I can still be desirable pass my 20s.

Don’t be the old woman who lived in her shoes.

I was an emotional shopper in my 20s but it scared me to realise that I might end up alone and broke, hugging my Louis Vuitton bags in the streets if I continued to shop every time my heart got broken. This scene was poignant as I realised how important it is to be self-sufficient because, not everyone is as lucky as Carrie to have a friend like Charlotte in her life.

Pick yourself up, flaws and all, and finish.

Who can ever forget this iconic episode when Carrie fell on the runway (and got walked over by Heidi Klum). It was embarrassing but she bravely got back up, continued walking and received a standing ovation.

Celebrate your own milestones.

Who is anyone to judge your choices in life? Congratulations, you didn’t marry the wrong guy! Throw yourself a I Don’t Have a Baby Shower (and you can drink too). Season 6 Episode 9 is one of my most favourite episodes in history because it made me realise that this is your journey, it’s okay not to fall into society’s normal standards. Recognise your achievements and make your own milestones – your solo travel or your first Manolo Blahnik!

Don’t underestimate a lazy ovary and a ball.

Miranda has one lazy ovary so she thought her odds of conceiving was slim. So when she hooked up with her ex, Steve, who just found out he has testicular cancer, they didn’t use a condom. She got pregnant. As I’ve suffered from Endometriosis, this episode made me laugh and cry at the same time. I always took for granted that I can never get pregnant but it made me realise that you can never really be too sure.

If his mother still bathes him, run.

When Charlotte first met Trey, she was smitten and he seemed like the perfect guy. Enter Bunny, the mother-in-law from hell decked in pearls and a Chanel Tweed Suit. Trey was a mamas-boy through and through. He listened and said, “Alrighty” with just a touch on the hand from Bunny and had their heart to heart talks while Trey took his baths (red flag much?).

Trey loved Charlotte but it was obvious to all of us that Bunny made the decisions in the marriage from how they decorated the home, choosing their marital bed and making sure Charlotte knew how she felt about adoption. Unfortunately, Charlotte’s marriage to Trey could not withstand their struggles to conceive and Bunny McDougal.

You think you want a Trey but fall for a Harry.

Charlotte met Trey, a wealthy, good-looking and successful doctor – a man that, on paper, seemed perfect. However, their marriage faced many challenges, including Trey’s sexual dysfunction and his overbearing mother’s interference in their lives. Charlotte struggles to find happiness in the marriage and they eventually separate and later divorce.

She ended up falling head over heels for her sweaty, bald and brash divorce lawyer who ultimately stood by her through thick and thin – loving her as she was despite her infertility issues, the miscarriage and later deciding to adopt a baby from China.

The right man will be strong enough to catch you.

During Charlotte’s wedding to Harry, Samantha broke her pearl bracelet and Charlotte almost fell if Harry didn’t catch her. Later, Carrie found Charlotte crying in the washroom and reminded her to open her eyes to what she was missing. “You already had the perfect wedding, and the marriage, not so perfect“, “I would love to find a man who was strong enough to catch me“. Harry may not be the best looking and the wedding may not have been perfect but it was obvious to all of us how much Harry loved Charlotte. Charlotte was more optimistic later during the roast toast.

Charlotte and Harry had the most amazing marriage and are still one of my favourite TV couples ever.

Soul mates can be anyone you choose.

Sex and the City had a number of references to soulmates that were an eye opener to 20-something single me then.

Later in the episode, as Carrie lamented not having a man in her life to be with her on her birthday, Charlotte quipped, “Maybe we should be each others soulmates, and then we can let men be just these great nice guys to have fun with”.

Never settle in love.

I’ve always believed in fairy tales and didn’t realise then how complicated love was. My heart got broken a number of times and I thought I was never going to find anyone who was going to accept my condition or is going to love me the way I wanted to be loved. The epitome came when I was told that fairy-tale love doesn’t exist. I did not want to accept that excuse. I remembered this scene of Carrie and the Russian in Paris. Maybe that fairy tale love I seek doesn’t exist, but I’d rather be single and free until I find the love I deserve.

Be true to yourself.

Carrie wore her nameplate necklace on and off throughout the seasons. She wore it so much that Miranda thought she loved gold jewellery (and helped her ex Aidan choose a gold wedding band which made Carrie sick). So when she left for Paris to be with the Russian and his art installation, she wore it with her as she did when she was in New York.

One day while in Dior, she fell and lost her Carrie Necklace. Seeing how distraught she was, The Russian asked her how much it was and she told him it was priceless as she got it while shopping at a flea market with Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda. So he got her another necklace to replace it. Although it was pretty, it didn’t really sit well with Carrie, just like her relationship with the Russian. He never quite understood her and what her life, her friends and New York meant to her. So on the Russian’s installation debut, as he broke his promise of not leaving her on her own once again, she found her Carrie Necklace tucked in a hole in her purse and remembered that she did have a life and people who loved her, it just isn’t there in Paris and with the Russian.

After watching this last episode, I got my own version of the Carrie Necklace and, just like Carrie’s, it’s priceless to me for all the memories it holds and what it signifies.

And here you have it, my little Bible of Sex and the City. What were the lessons you’ve learned from Sex and the City and which were your favourite episodes? Share them in the comments, I can never get enough of Sex and the City.

*All images in this post are sourced from Google images.

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