You must’ve heard the story of The Princess and the Toad. I’ve heard it way back when I was little from our big book of Fairy Tales. My mother would read a story to me every other night before I went to bed until I could learn to read myself.
For the benefit of those who’ve never heard of it, its a story of a beautiful princess who had to kiss a toad that use to be a prince but was cursed and only a princess who had the courage to kiss it despite its ugly appearance would break the spell. Eew.
Little did I know that I will kiss more toads in my life that never turned into princes. So how do you determine a toad from a prince? I have created a list of toads I have the misfortune to meet in hopes that it will be helpful to you and may save you from another heartbreak. Names will be left out to protect the toads involved.
You may think this is fairly harmless, that he’s doing this because he cares and wants to protect you from the possibility of getting hurt. But the longer you stay in this relationship, the more suffocating it becomes. If you have to lie to him to have dinner with your girlfriends or if he shoots down your dreams (to travel or to further your studies) so that you will be scared out of pursuing them, these are signs of a very unhealthy relationship and can be deemed as mental abuse.
The thought that he gets jealous when a guy checks you out is cute in the beginning. But when he starts picking fights with every man who looks your way or even with your own guy friends (provided you have any since they probably know by now that your boyfriend beats up any male within your radius), its obvious he has trust issues and that he will eventually turn his violent streak towards you.
This falls under two categories.
Pussy #1 – If he’s afraid of cockroaches, rats, bugs, etc but still tries to defend you, fine, you have to give it to him for trying. But if he hides behind you as a bee flies by or worse, dodges from or pushes you in front of harm to protect himself, it is unforgivable.
Pussy #2 – He bolts in times of crisis. He will not own up to his mistakes, instead, he takes the short cut out of it which is to run as far as he can and then accuse you of the mishaps he has caused.
Self centered and has little or no regard for anyone else but himself. Be warned, this is usually the most disgusting of the lot and may cause you the most damage. This also falls under two categories.
Jerk #1 – He has selfish mannerisms and tendencies such as not giving up a seat to you but helps himself instead, eats without offering a bite or even ask if you’re hungry. The Jerk also has no qualms about highlighting your little flaws and magnifying them without once reflecting on his.
Jerk #2 – He pretends to bring the moon to your feet (ie; Phantom of the Opera) but dumps his prey as soon as he is done with her and with no remorse.
This is rather scary, you can never really know who or what he truly is because he has a mask on (ie; Phantom). He rarely or never mentions his private life but puts up a captivating performance to the world (ie; Opera). Or as we would call it ‘Wayang’. He has everything to hide because he is afraid of who he really is and pretends to be something else as a cover up to get what he wants (ie; Jerk).
He boasts about his sex life and spills out every detail about your relationship to boost his ego. Some will even go to extremes to give false claims about you (ie; Pussy) to make himself look good. Men like this often have tiny dicks or/and are really bad in bed.
This is quite easy to spot. They are normally good looking but do not be fooled as some Casanovas can look butt ugly. The gift of a Casanova is the ability to ‘sweet talk’ and seduce a woman into getting them into bed and later dumping them (ie; Jerk) for his next conquest. His relationships never last long and he can never keep his eyes and dick to himself.
I’m sorry if you have met a few of the above mentioned toads or a toad with some of these traits. They may have cause some damage to your self-esteem, your ability to trust men or worse, caused you to loose yourself. Hugs to you. It took me a long while to overcome my fear of men and I almost lost all my confidence. I found myself asking questions like, “Am I destined to be alone?”, “Will I ever meet a prince?”, “Is there a man that can accept and love me?”, “What is wrong with me?”. If you’re nodding your head as you read this, please know that you are NOT disposable. You are stronger than you realise. If anything, you have a beautiful soul to accept such toads into your heart. In time, your wounds will heal, you will get tired of crying, you will eventually crawl out from under your covers and start to live again. And when you begin to smile, someone will take notice. This time, with God’s blessing, I hope you will meet your prince.
Take it from me, I can vouch I have met some of the most poisonous toads around, went through hell, fell into some form of depression and got out of all of that alive. Still amaze at how I managed to survive all that. I soon started focussing on fixing myself. And when you’re happy and not looking, good things happen…
I met a prince. We’ve been going out for almost two years now and he makes me very happy, the details I’ll share on another post, hehe. I pray that he never falls into any of the above mentioned categories. I have to admit though that the toads from my past have caused me considerable emotional damage and I’m afraid I can never really be the same sweet darling girl again. But I guess that was a twist into making me a whole lot stronger and wiser now. Strong to have survived them, wise enough to share my experiences.
How to know when you’ve found your prince? When he’s fast enough to run beside you and strong enough to catch you. Run with you to chase your dreams, catch you when you fall. You’re a strong woman, you can’t settle for another toad, you deserve a Superman (ie; your Prince). In the meantime, go have fun with your girlfriends, stay strong and never give up hope in yourself and love, your prince will come when you least expect it.
Till the next entry, lots of love.
PS: This entry is dedicated to the toads that have tried to break me. Thanks for making me a fighter.
Please note that image of this handsome toad was taken from Google images. Please contact me personally so that I can credit you. Thank you.