So here I am. Back to the start.
In a matter of just a year, my world came crashing down. I have lost a man whom I have spent 12 years of my life with. I watched my bestfriends whom I thought will never leave walkaway. The broken dreams of having the perfect family reminded by the scars on my cervixs. And having to leave the home I have waited for so long… Here I am – in my 20s, ditched, lost and not knowing where I belong. I’ve cried months on ends. Had sleepless nights and fitfull dreams. Lost my appetite. The pain was unbearable. I had nothing left. Or did I? Then I realize I was so fixed on one direction, I didn’t look around at the other paths to see where it would lead me to. I haven’t actually lived. What was it like to break rules? So what if I can’t have children? Do I really need a man to fill my life? Didn’t I have dreams I wanted to fulfill? It was then I realized that I may have lost it all but I have everything to gain. So I’ve cut my hair the way its never been worn before. Pierced my naval to rebel against my scars. And going to places I’ve never seen. I’m single. I’m free. And I’m loving every second of it! So what is this blog about? Its about a tale of love and lost. An adventure awaiting to be unravelled. A story of the fallen rising once again. The start of a new beginning.
This is my beautiful life – Love Bella Vida ♥
2 responses to “Bella Vida”
[…] I know I’m off my regular schedule by posting this but I have to write this down. You see, for a few years now, I’ve been waking up to this notification by WordPress on this day (14th February) smiling secretly to myself because I think it’ll be silly to put it out there and then, I’ll forget about it altogether. But today, as I logged into WordPress and got greeted by this notification, I think I should just spill it. It’s my 5th year blogging. In many aspects, I think my blog is still a baby because I still have so much to learn to make it grow. But wow, 5years has gone by since I started this. I can still remember sitting in the Fort Office staring at the ‘Sign Up’ screen feeling like I’ve just walked on skeletons and survived a war. It was Valentine’s Day 2012 and the date made me want to throw up. “Enough“, I told myself. I didn’t want this date to be something I would fall sick over for the rest of my life. “I have to find a way to make this… different“. So, I signed up on 14th of February so that it wouldn’t mean ‘Valentines Day’, it would mean ‘The day I started my life over’. I wanted to call this blog La Bella Vita which means My Beautiful Life in Italian but it was obviously already taken (this was before I learned about Key Word Optimization and SEO). So I twisted the words into Love Bella Vida and made it my own. About a week later, I wrote my very first blog post. […]
[…] 2012 in hopes that this date will mean more to me than turmoil and heartbreak. I wrote my very first post a week later. It was my attempt to re-write my life. Little did I know then, how far that decision […]